Evil Temptations

Don't even start on the evils of candy. Why can't I resist the yummy goodness of M&M's. Mom...stop buying them for your candy dish!! Especially the scrumptious dark chocolate.....

And then there's the Reese's Peanut Butter Cups, Hearts, Eggs, Pumpkins and Trees. How can something sooo good be sooo bad?!?

Needless to say, my goals this week haven't been met. Luckily it's only Tuesday and I have the rest of the week to make up for the candy binge I had this weekend. Now to stay out of the kid's stash.

April Goals

Ok, I figured since it's still early in April I can post what I'm going to accomplish this month.

Walk 5-6 days a week to get myself used to exercizing. If I say only 3 days a week, I know I'll fail because I'll work out Monday....then before I know it, Saturday will roll around and I haven't done any more walking. So if I have more days I'm committed to, then I'll keep it up.

I'll be walking 2 miles this month (30 minutes) using the Walk Slim system mom has. I'm already feeling better doing it.

I also plan to cut back on the sweets and such. I'm going to watch what I eat and just try not to go overboard. Basically if I end up giving in to temptation I'll forgive myself and start again the next day instead of beat myself up and eat more of the same old thing.

That's all I'm going to focus on for this month. It's mostly to get an exercise routine set in place so I won't fail this time. This is a lifestyle change for me as well as my family. I'm hoping Jordan and Melody will follow mom's example and get active. If I'm active...I'll be more inclined to get them moving around.

Down again

So I weighed myself last Thursday and I'm down another 2 pounds. Of course this has been since I weighed on March 12th, but a loss is a loss. I've started walking again. 2 miles in 30 minutes. I'm going to stick with this routine 5-6 days a week for a month. This is just for me to get used to exercising.

I'm trying to make better food choices as well, but eating three handfuls of m&m's doesn't help. I have been really good though with not picking up goodies to have in the house when I'm at the grocery store like I used to. I really need to get a menu made up with what I'll eat for lunch and dinner so as to have it all on hand. Any suggestions on good recipes are always welcome.

Just an update...

Been doing so so since I last posted. I weighed myself on mom's scale last week, and I was the same. That's a good thing. I'll weigh myself tomorrow and I'm hoping for another same day. Of course a loss would be great, but I don't think that's gonna happen with the way I've been eating this week. With being out of town and also not being very active from my back being out. That's why I'm hoping for a stay. I'm still optimistic though that this will be the time I change my life.

I had a loss!!

Woo Hoo. I weighed myself this morning, and I'm down 7 pounds from the last time I weighed!! I'm actually now where I was when I got pregnant with both kids. Now to just get down to where I weighed when I had them, then I'd be even more excited.

I know some of the loss has been because I haven't been able to eat much the past couple days of being sick. So to just keep on eating well, and I won't put it back on. I'm feeling very encouraged.

Playing the Victim

Ok, so I'm one of the millions of Americans who watch Biggest Loser. Loney and I even considered applying for the show a year ago which means we would have been on this season. In all the season's I've watched, tonight's show hit me kinda hard. For some reason the confrontation Jillian had with Laura gave me an aha moment. I believe I'm one of those that is playing the victim. That I want acceptance from everyone around me to fill this need inside. Doing things halfway and thinking that's good enough. Obviously it's not! Look at where I'm at. I'm pushing 250 pounds, my knees and legs ache almost constantly, I get headaches frequently, and I know my health is in jeopardy I'm just too scared to see how bad it's gotten.

I've got to focus these feelings I have inside of me and push myself further then I ever have before. I'm afraid of failing and letting everyone down. Letting myself down. I'm afraid that maybe I don't have it in me to succeed. That it's too hard. Where has taken the easy way gotten me? An early grave? A life that is consumed with eating to fill that hole inside of me that can be found in other ways?

I'm not a victim. I am a hero..to myself..to my kids..to my family. I will be the ultimate success story in my book of LIFE. Because if I am successful, I can then help others become successful. Whether they be my children living a full and healthy life I didn't have..up until now, or other so called "victims" like me who need a swift kick in the butt to get the fire burning.

Stay tuned and to anyone who is following my journey, keep me in line and remind me why I am no longer a victim to my life of "easy".

"[It is] God that girdeth me with strength, and maketh my way perfect." Psalms 18:32

"Counsel [is] mine, and sound wisdom: I [am] understanding; I have strength." Proverbs 8:14

Neglectful

I know, I've neglected this blog, and really I've neglected myself. Just no drive, no desire, and no umph to get this going. I know, it's just a cop out. I guess I just really need to sit down and find out why I'm sabotaging myself ALL of the time. One excuse over the other. My house is a mess, my kids are whiney, I'm too tired, I'll do it tomorrow. The excuses never end. I deserve a better life, I can achieve my ideals. I'm better than the rut I'm stuck in. Set backs are inevitable, things happen, but the excuses aren't worth my life. They aren't worth my children having a mother who is too tired to play with them outside. They just aren't worth it. I'm worth more then an excuse.


I'M WORTH MORE!!!!